#GirlDad Goals: I Want My Daughters To Have The Confidence Of A Middle Age, Mediocre White Male

“What does it mean to have the confidence of a middle age, mediocre white male?”

I’m happy you asked. To have the confidence of a middle age, mediocre white male means that you have reached your apex in assuming what the world owes you compared to the actual contributions you have made to the world. When you reach this level of confidence, you demand more, even if you don’t deserve shit. You walk into a job interview requesting a $20k increase to whatever salary is offered to you. You look down on others on a pedestal, a pedestal made of the tears and “how tf is this stupid mf my boss” of marginalized people you have bypassed economically, even if you don’t have the talent, drive, education or intelligence to justify your income superiority.

“So you want them to have the talent of a middle age, mediocre white male?”

No, no, no, not the talent. I want my black daughters to have the talent of an exceptional black woman. But let’s think about it for a minute, if you combine the talent of an exceptional black woman with the confidence of a middle age, mediocre white male and marry them together, you will birth the ruler of the Milky Way Galaxy.

“The Milky Way Galaxy? Like, the whole galaxy? You know the galaxy has billions of stars and planets and a super massive black hole in the center of it, right?”

Yep, that galaxy. Let’s face it, an old ass, below mediocre white male can be President of the United States. So by that iron clad logic, a middle age, mediocre white male could theoretically take over our solar system and any neighboring star systems. So, if you combine the confidence to become the ruler of a region of a Galaxy along with the intelligence, drive and talent of an exceptional black woman, it is definitely within the reach of possibility to become Emperor of the Milky Way Galaxy. Darth Sidious did it in a galaxy far, far away, and he was only a middle age, slightly above mediocre white male.

“Why can’t we all have the confidence of a middle aged, mediocre white male? This type of confidence sounds amazing!”

To naturally have that confidence requires many, many years of privileged evolution, an evolution black people, especially black women, never went through for obvious reasons, of course. See, my daughters are not only women, but they are black, too. And they reside at this intersection, an intersection where American laws and the American society pounces and preys on their confidence, until they kill it.

Society commonly refers to this “killing” of confidence as “male privilege.” As a male, their father aka #GirlDad has benefited from this privilege time after time. Regrettably, at one point in my life, this #GirlDad didn’t even acknowledge male privilege nor bother to care that such privilege actually existed. And because of this glaring ignorance that for a long time I actively chose to ignore instead of correct, I sincerely apologize.

Most males in this country barely acknowledge such privileges, subconsciously and consciously, allowing male chauvinism to be passed from generation to generation. Disturbingly, as of 2019 women (ESPECIALLY black women, but I’m getting to that, soon) are without equal pay, full reproduction rights or social equality. Women, unfortunately, also suffer from gender and sex discrimination in almost every social or workplace setting, along with being victims of sexual assault and domestic violence at a disturbingly high rate.

A rate so high that this #GirlDad may have to go Samuel L. Jackson from “A Time to Kill” on America and it’s systemic effort to kill my girl’s confidence.

“Damn, no wonder you want your girls to have that type of confidence. How do you plan to pass down this type of confidence if you don’t have this type of confidence, yourself?”

I will force them to watch Donald Trump speeches over and over.

“Won’t that turn them into a racist?”

Shit, you right. Never mind. I’ll get back to you, on this.

Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang and is the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet. So, you know, balance. 

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