To all the amazing children enrolled at Rona Elementary this semester, we, the administrative body, truly believes that every student is intelligent, creative, and capable of immense growth and learning. We, at Rona Elementary, are truly committed to providing a personal and engaging learning experience by:
- Encouraging children to STFU when their teachers aka Mommy and Daddy are on a work call.
- Recognizing that your teachers aka Mommy and Daddy don’t want to be trapped in the house with their ungrateful ass students, either.
- Offering a challenging and rewarding curricula of:
- Sitting
- Yo
- Ass
- Down
- Somewhere
- Nurturing the unique individual abilities of each student with adopting the parental teaching lesson plan of “winging it.”
- Providing meaningful and relevant opportunities that foster a love for learning when to STFU.
- Committing to help students become intellectually fit, while also committing to helping parents/teachers become emotionally fit with a complimentary bottle of Xanax.
- Preparing students for the real world, just in case their teachers/parents kick them out of the house for not abiding by the “Sitting Yo Ass Down Somewhere” Curricula.
We look forward to your time at Rona Elementary, and we sincerely can’t wait for this shit to be over with!
Leslie McLemore writes about a lot of different shit for Black With No Chaser. He is also the Takeaway Kang and is the father of two beautiful girls, one of which gets on every nerve he has. The other one is sweet. So, you know, balance.
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